weird dream

So i had a dream about chase last night...

It was kinda weird cause in my dream apparently i had put a restraining order against him but forgot about it or something. Anyways i was with two little kids who i think i remember as being my sister and someone else but they were much younger than my sister so i don't know. Oh another weird thing about my dream was that i was wearing a short black and white plaid skirt in my dream...why i dunno but i was. Anyways i was with them and i took them to this restaurant which apparently was near the tau delt house so we decided to cut through it to make the trip faster. When we first cut through there was no1 in the house so i just kinda went right through. anyways we cut through there house and there yard and go to this restaurant. So we are sitting there eating and then all of a sudden i see Chase. So i go over to him and was like can we talk. He was like ok. So we sit down and i was like i just want to sort though all of this stuff and trying figure out this mess that is our relationship. Then i was like before we start i just want to say one thing...i just want to say that i have no desire of dating you again..i just want to be friends...we have tried dating before and it just hasn't worked out and i don't want to have to deal with all that stress, confusion and drama anymore.

I don't remember how we got to this point in the conversation exactly but at some point Chase basically tells me the reason why our relationship was all my fault. That he truly did care but it was like i would try to get us together or show him some attention and then run away. He also said that he thought i kinda used him for affection and that i never truly liked him but rather the affection that he gave me. Basically he made me felt guilty and made it seem like everything that i ever tried to blame on him was actually something i did and that it was really my fault that things turned out as screwed up as they were. And the thing is that in my dream i believe him..i mean i remember feeling extreme sorrow and guilt for treating him that way and i remember at one point he showed my two poems he wrote and it was similar to the type of poetry i wrote about him. I also remember at one point that he got angry at me for treating him like that and stuff. I think ultimately at the end of the convo we decided to try and be friends again and agreed to meet again the next day to hang out (the next day was Stephie's birthday and a group of people were going to Busch Gardens to celebrate and then dinner afterwards and apparently was invite to Busch Gardens but i was not so we were going to meet for the dinner afterwards).

so anyways we say good bye and he leaves. Then as i am trying to leave i remember one of the cooks thinking that i was waitress and gave me some plates to serve and i was like i dunno where these are going and then she was like oh..you don't work here do you? and i was like nope. So yeah after that i finally leave with the two kids i came with and we go through the back yard of teh resturant...pass by the dog and enter the backyard of the tau delt house. So as we go to enter the house to cut through it again we realize that this time there are people in it. So as i open the door i was like oh sorry guys i was just cutting through. and they were its all good and i sit and talk to some of them for awhile. It was weird cause i was sitting to one of the guys who seemed like he was a brother but while i was talking to him he became Daniel Swale. and started talking to me about my skirt. After that i noticed Stephie and was like how come you invited Chase to Busch Gardens but not me? Whats up with that? and she was like i never invited him i have no idea what you are talking about. So we argue for a bit but then then get distracted by something in the kitchen so we go and check it out. turns out some of the guys had like put a bunch of different objects on the floor including a piece of gum and slice of swiss cheese. They had this animal that looked liked a dog but could talk and stand try to pick out first the piece of gum and then the cheese out of all the objects on the floor. It was very good at it but eventually figure it out. After watching that for a bit i left the room and went to talk to who i thought was Mullin but turned into Johnnie from work. Anyways i was talking to him about my convo with chase and how he made me feel very guilty and stuff and how he made it seem like i was really just projecting my mistakes and issues onto him and blaming him for it. As I was talking to Mullin/Johnnie someone hands me a folder of papers. In it are papers from Chase's lawyer in regards to the restraining order that was placed and summarizing our whole encounter earlier that evening. I was confused as to why i received it and Mullin/Johnnie told that because of he restraining order, each time we interacted that i receive this folder of info from his lawyers. At this point he hands me a book and was like here...read this it might help you with everything. So i take it and then i woke up.


so yeah..weird dream and now i can't stop thinking about it...blah....i'm going to take to Kristi about it on Thursday and see what she thinks.