too much free time is never a good thing

I feel depressed yet i don't
i feel alone
i want a hug
why am i like this?
what is wrong with me?
just when things are looking up...bam!
i am dragged down again
I am a failure
I have come to realize that is one of my greatest fears
I am afraid of failing
I am afraid of disappointing
maybe that is why i joke so much about failing at life
cause deep down i know that its true
i put on the mask
and separate the pain
so that over time
i don't even know its there
I don't know anymore
i just don't know....

Poetry and imagery is forming in my mind, waiting to come out.....this is not a good sign

good weekend

So this weekend has been a good weekend and i think i am finally getting used to Knoxville and beginning to get settled in..which is def a good thing. here are some highlights from this weekend so far:

*went to Chattanooga again with my cousin on Friday night...i really do love that town (see below), every time i leave it i feel refreshed and at peace. i really wish i could move my program to the Chattanooga campus cause that would be perfect but atlas that is not possible.... *heavy sigh* life goes on...

*Finally went to the Farmer's Market in downtown Knoxville on Saturday. I have known about for like a month or so now but never actually went till Saturday and boy am i glad that i did. It was soo cool. They had all these little stands where farmers would sell organic vegetables and fruits. Some stands sold jewelry or other such crafts...it was really cool. Also the place it was located had all of these neat stores that were like "green" stores and fair trade places. of course all of them were really expensive but it was still nice to look around. It made me realize that the Knoxville does have at least a bit of a artistic soul which is nice.

*meet up with a friend from my program and we went to this store that sold used used books, cds, and movies for cheap! I got 4 movies (princess bride, pan's labyrinth, Sahara, and V for vendetta), three books (Pandora, Pride and Prejudice, and a book that had Frankenstein, Dracula, and Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde all together) as well as two cds (Santana and jimmy buffet) for $33! :-D It was exciting....that store is def going to be one of my favorites but its also very dangerous cause its easy to spend a lot of money cause they have so much to choose from.

but yeah those are just some highlights from my life here in Knoxville. i should prolly get started on my hmwk now...adios!

i want :-P

having fun with words....

so after searching on the interwebs for some ideas on a tshirt design for my program here at UT i came across this really cool site where it will take text and basically organize it in a really cool (i'm describing this really bad but i'm tired)...anyways after coming up with a few ideas for GST i decided to try to describe me and here is my final product:




ps the words i used were from my post the time before last....